At the End of the Rainbow
by Addy Robin
Summary: Lovino has loved Antonio for years now. But he can't seem to tell him...still, there's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, isn't there?


I'm watching him from a distance, staring at him through the hedges. He's talking to Bella, who is laughing and smiling - maybe he'd just told a joke? How could I know, I'm staring at him through some hedges like the pathetic little stalker I am. But I can't help myself...I love him. Truly and without any reservations. I love everything about him...Antonio. Even his name. I want to say that name, all the time, waking up in the morning, calling him down for dinner...laying beside him, holding him...but that was stupid.

He'd never love anyone like me.

I've been in love with him for so long. But...I could never tell him that. If I did, he'd see me differently, probably never even talk to me again...and that's why it's so stupid. I just love him, and it's the most idiotic thing I've ever had to go through in my whole life. Well...he's basically been my whole life, so I guess that isn't too much of a stretch...

I look up into the sky - it was raining earlier, so I'm not too surprised that there's a rainbow there. But, strangely enough...it makes me think of something.

_"Hey, brother!"_

_Feliciano was giggling and laughing, prancing about the orchard with an earsplitting grin on his face. "C'mon! There's a rainbow! Grandpa said that there's a pot of gold at the end of it!"_

_Skeptical, I looked back at my grandfather. He was smiling and waving at the two of us, a mischievous smile on his face as he egged the two of us on. "Go on! Don't stop until you find the end of that rainbow!" he called out. Taking it as a challenge, my brother and I looked at each other...and charged off to meet the end of the rainbow._

We spent at least an hour running around in search of the rainbow's end that day. Needless to say though, we never reached it...just like then, I'm never going to find the end of this rainbow.

Laundry day is always a pain. Not that I have too much laundry, but actually getting up and doing it is really just a pain in the ass. I sigh as I fold the now washed-and-rinsed clothes into small, separated piles; shirts, pants, socks, et-cetera...as I'm folding though, I find a shirt, and it doesn't look anything like mine. It's much too big for me, and has too many stains...

It's my grandfather's shirt.

It makes me want to cry, seeing it now, washed and somewhat-clean like this...I hold it to my chest. This shirt reminds me of him, and not just because I saw him wear it often. If I imagine it hard enough, I can still smell his scent...cautiously, I slip it over my head and slide my arms through the sleeves. It's a bit baggy, but it feels more than comfortable as I feel it warming me up, just like my grandfather's hugs used to do...I sort of wish I'd asked for more hugs, thinking back on it.

Just like I wish I'd asked for more hugs from Antonio.

I really, really love him. I want to tell him, but I just...can't. I'm too scared to. If he says no...I can never see him again. I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again...I hug my grandfather's shirt against my body. Why does this have to be so hard? Grandpa was always so powerful, so strong, so brave...why can't I be like that too? Powerful, strong...brave enough to tell that bastard how I feel...

_Why not?_ asks a voice in the back of my head that reminds me suspiciously of my grandfather. _Why can't you be all of these things? You have the capability...why not just do it?_

Something at the window catches my eye...a rainbow. It's arching from high in the sky, going far, far away...

Without thinking about it, I start running, still in my grandpa's shirt. Out of the house, down the street, through the alleyways...as fast as I can, chasing that rainbow. I won't stop until I find the end of it.

Because, in this shirt...

I can finally tell him how I feel.

It took me a long time, but finally I reached it.

I'd found the end of the rainbow.

Standing on Antonio's doorstep, I find that the rainbow has disappeared. But it doesn't matter anymore...I'm where I need to be, even dressed in my grandfather's baggy shirt that probably looks terrible on me, sweating and panting from my long run, my face red from the exhaustion...I'm sure I look terrible, but that doesn't phase me at all as I knock on his door. On Antonio's door. Because I'm here for a reason. And damn it, he better hear me out.

In this shirt, I feel powerful, strong, and brave.

I still feel that way, even as he opens the door. His green eyes look down at me with curiosity, a smile appearing on his face as he sees how I look. "Lovi," he says cheerily. "I wasn't expecting you! How are-"

"Shut up and let me talk, you bastard!" I say breathlessly, staring at my feet. I'm starting to feel nervous, afraid...what if I can't do this? What if this was all just a bad idea, and I got overconfident and stupid and...

_Go on! Don't stop until you find the end of that rainbow!_

And so I look up at Antonio, and steady my breathing. I won't look away now. It's time to tell him. It's finally time...

"Damn it, you bastard. I've been chasing after you for years and you're so damn oblivious! You're stupid, you know that? I wasted all of this time just waiting to talk to you about this, and now here I am on your fucking doorstep and damn it, if you can't figure it out, then you're just an idiot!" I say angrily, grabbing his arm and stepping closer. Now I'm only inches away from him...

"Lovino..." he says cautiously, probably uncertain what's caused my anger. "I don't understand, what is-"

"I love you, you bastard!"

And so my statement echoes off the walls.

Here I am.

And in this shirt, I've finally found the end of my rainbow.

And as Antonio takes my hand and pulls me closer, his words are my pot of gold:

"Oh, Lovi...all this time? I wish I'd known...I love you, too."

And I find myself melting into his arms as he pulls me in, kissing me deeply, his arms holding me up as I sink into him, holding him tightly against me and never wanting to let go. And now, I'll never have to.

And it's all because of my grandfather's shirt.


End file.
